The Bump: Well it's no question anymore..everyone in public randomly asks "When are you due?" or "What are you having?" ..it still catches me off guard though and sometimes I have to pause for a moment before answering while thinking, "huh?" And then there's the whole everyone touching my belly thing, associated with "Oh, I hope you don't mind that I just touched your belly!" And to be honest, I usually don't even realize that someone is touching my belly until they say that! So, touch away I reckon!
Symptoms: Just some weird aches and pains. I'm assuming she kicks my bladder a lot when I'm sitting because it's a strange feeling unlike the normal jabs here and there. Also woke up with a Charlie horse a few weeks ago..no fun!
Food Cravings: I don't think anything this week! But I could be wrong..?
Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Don't think so!
Sleep: Still waking up really early, staying up for a few hours, then falling back asleep. It gets old..and boring!
What I miss: Being able to exert myself just a little without having my heart rate go crazyyy..it's tiring.
Weddings Rings On or Off: On
Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes, actually, this came very easy for us contrary to what everyone told us about picking out names...but you'll just have to wait ;)
Gender: Baby Barr is a girl! :)
Movement: Lots. She'll go from bouncing around at the top of my belly, to all of a sudden little trickles down low. Daddy can feel all her subtle movements, not just the kicks and punches, which is pretty cool to both of us ;)
Maternity Clothes: Probably half and half. I sure do love the belly band I got from my sister...makes things look/feel a lot better! So yes, I'd recommend one!
Labor Signs: N/A
Best Moment of the Week: We started our baby registry today at Target! And Amazon. Being that we live in what I like to call the middle of nowhere, there is no Babies R Us for at least 50 miles surrounding us, and therefore, we get to miss out on that lil experience. Worst part about it - we were bummed that Target doesn't have 'stork parking' like Babies R Us haha. Lazy much?
What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Little projects here and there for baby girl's room!
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Just a few of the projects I've started for Baby B's room...
A rocking chair given to us by J's parents---
I first primed it, then added the wooden appliques, then painted and added a chair cushion. :)
Tada...
I checked out Goodwill and bought a raggedy, dusty ol' lamp for a whopping $7. Primed/spray painted the base and added ruffle trim to the lampshade :)
And there are more, but perhaps you'll have to wait until I get more stuff completed!
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Tonight, we ventured into Macon, Ga. Not too much excitement going on there. But we did eat at a sweet lil pizza place, and came home to hang with the dog. He sure does love his new backyard!
Well I've been back in Georgia for 4 days now, trying to settle into our new home. There is so much to be done, unpacked, and organized, and it's a bit overwhelming with J working such long days (and everyday!) I am so, so thankful that he and my in-laws moved us in without me, unloaded all the heavy furniture, organized our kitchen, etc. Such a wonderful thing to walk into. But of course, there is still more to do. And now it's my turn! I guess now is the part where trying to make our house a home sets in. Organizing, unpacking the little things, and then decorating is my part. The wall colors in this house just don't fit my vision of what I'd like for our home, so I've got to adjust and work with what I have!
Am I loving the area? Let's just say, not yet. But hoping I will get there! It also doesn't help that I've spent the summer in Florida - Orlando, Tampa, and the past 3 weeks in South Florida, where there is an abundance of activities and so much going on all around. I've gotta learn to live life in the slow lane here - as I've noticed anyone I call, from service/utility companies to doctor's offices, they like to take their time! No hustle and bustle here. I've also gotta learn to live with the fact that my damn phone just doesn't work here. And that, my friends, is a hard one to live with! While I get bored quickly here and would love to talk to my sister, mom, cousins, etc., it's just not happening with a dropped call every 2.5 seconds. We'll have to figure that one out ;) And once I'm settled in and all organized, I will get back into my crafting and photography and be all set..I mean, there is a Hobby Lobby here, so there's really no room for complaints! High-Five to Hobby Lobby!
Sorry about the lack of updating the past couple weeks. Things were rough there for a little :( But oh so much has changed with the belly and the baby, as she is moving like crazy and I'm loving every moment of it. Here ya go...!
25 weeks
How far along?: 25 weeks, 5 days
Baby is the size of an: Eggplant
Total weight gain/loss: +15
The Bump: I've noticed a huge growth spurt in the past couple weeks...I still try to squeeze between small spaces and I'm realizing it's not working so well anymore!
Symptoms: Well I've had some swelling in my feet unfortunately, but that was after the 7 hour car ride back up here and the few days following - so I think I just needed to stretch more and move around. And that whole pregnancy brain thing...gosh I normally remember and think of everything and well, that's just all out the window now!
Food Cravings: Haven't had any "cravings" really, but while in South Florida the past couple weeks, I indulged in more than I should have (as you can see from the board!) Now I'm back in my own home and trying to get into a routine and eating better.
Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: Don't think so..luckily!
Sleep: I usually wake up a few times throughout the night. And I wake up really early (It's so much easier to wake up early when you don't have to go to work...why is that?) But I'll stay up for a little and usually go back to sleep.
What I miss: Aside from Aunt Kathy? ;( Being that it is pretty ding dang dong boring here, it'd be nice to be able to go out for a beer, but I'm really not missing that all that much. I'd prefer a fat Publix sub over a beer right about now.
Weddings Rings On or Off: On
Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes, actually, this came very easy for us contrary to what everyone told us about picking out names...but you'll just have to wait ;)
Gender: Baby Barr is a girl! :)
Movement: Wow, the past couple weeks, she has taken off. Dance parties in my belly like crazy! Kicks, kicks, and other stuff I couldn't even tell ya what she's doing in there. Daddy and most of my family got to feel her kicking from the outside, and now when I lay down, you can see her kicking and my belly moving. It's weird, but I love it!
Maternity Clothes: Shirts, yes. Although, this is a regular shirt in the chalkboard pic today. Most of my shirts are way too short - my belly pops out! So those are a no go these days.
Labor Signs: N/A
Best Moment of the Week: Daddy feeling her kicks and us just laying down seeing her quick jolts from the outside.
What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Starting to think more about the baby's room and how to make my vision come to life (with these brown/tan walls in her room that do not fit my vision!) Vision below:
My nursery visions are filled with light gray walls with white furniture and pops of teal, yellow, and coral accents + plenty of sunshine. If I were living here for longer than 11 more months, I would absolutely make that vision come to life. But people, help me cope here! Lol ;) The walls are a darker tan with a dark brown accent wall, and a tiny window not allowing much light in. So it's a pretty dark and dreary room. Not to mention, the furniture I have for the room is currently black and needs to be painted. I already bought the supplies/paint for it, but then realized every warning says not to paint while pregnant. Err. I will figure this one out! It may not be the nursery of my dreams, but I know myself, and I know I'll make it work just fine! And I'm excited to do so. Take a look at my nursery inspiration photos.
Pretty, huh?! While I know I have the power to make my vision come to life...take note: I'm workin' with what I have and will do my best! So don't expect the quality of these rooms haha ;)
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Aunt Kathy
Mi Auntie! My godmother, my aunt, my stand-in-mother, my whatever-you-want-to-call it! Aunt Kathy has done things I don't think many aunts would do, and I am forever grateful for having her :) We lived together, we vacationed together, we got along, we fought, we had gift wrapping contests every Christmas, we shopped til we dropped on numerous occasions - we had the relationship of a mother/daughter and I always had fun with Aunt Kath! She is such a strong woman and I can't imagine all that she has gone through in life - but I know she is doing one heck of a job at livin' life to the fullest! Thanks for always being there for me - from cheering me on at every single lacrosse game, to high school and college graduations - I've loved having you a part of everything!
That was posted on my blog last year for Mother’s Day – for mi Auntie! A strong woman is right.While I didn’t post about it on here, myself and our family never discounted her courageous efforts in the battle against breast cancer.Aunt Kath isn’t one to flaunt her battles, nor look for sympathy from others.A truly brave woman, fighting breast cancer for 5 ½ years, continuing to be the best wife, mother, and grandmother she could be, all while traveling the world.Yes – the world – through European vacations, cruising the open waters of the Mediterranean, Greece, Venice, Russia, Alaska, Caribbean, and taking on the Grand Canyon (on more than one occasion!) A woman of wonders, indeed.
I didn’t speak of it on here, because Auntie is all about people knowing her for who she is – Kathleen Ann Quinn Cahill – a sweet all-American past hippy-turned-family-queen. So, you can imagine the heartache and gut wrenching blow I felt when I received the phone call from Uncle Tom on July 5th, the day before I was supposed to move and head on up to Warner Robins, telling me “Aunt Kathy is on Hospice and has about 2-3 weeks.”
“Whaaaat?” I responded, as tears quickly poured out and I jumped up from the hotel bed I was sitting on.This can’t be, I thought.I JUST saw her on Saturday at the family BBQ while I was down in Coral Springs.Oh my gosh. No. No. No.
When I heard the trembling in his voice, and then the words “That’s my babydoll, Charlene, that’s my babydoll,” oh goodness. I lost it.“Can she talk? Is she okay? What is going on?” A million questions came to mind, but truly thinking of Uncle Tom’s heartache over mine made matters even worse for me.
Somehow we hung up, and there I was, standing in our hotel room that I was supposed to have all packed by the time J came home from work after a month of staying there.How am I going to do this? What am I going to do? I’m seriously moving tomorrow? But, Aunt Kathy, my “like-a-mom” whom I lived with since 12 years old….oh no, this can’t be.I got her this necklace for Mother’s Day in May….stamped on it are the words “Be Kind, Free, True, Brave, Strong, Happy, Compassionate, Thankful,” etc.
I let her know that because she truly bleeds happiness, bravery, compassion, etc., that is the reason we would be naming our baby girl’s middle name after her, Kathleen.She called me with the most enthusiastic and cheerful “Hey there!!!” you could hear from her. She followed that with, “I’ve been wearing this necklace non-stop and I swear it’s brought me luck! I got good news from the doctor, I might be approved for this study we’ve been waiting years for, and I’ve felt well enough to go to the kids’ baseball games, out to dinner, and get this..bargain shopping at Target!” I had just heard this from her a month and a half before receiving this news.Not to mention, she returned from the Grand Canyon, an entire week’s worth of touring several different canyons, less than 2 WEEKS PRIOR to this news.How can this be, I thought? I thought for sure after that phone call in May that she’d be around to meet our little girl.
With at least 5 hours until my husband would be done with work and before I could even share the dismal news, I’d pack a bag, cry, wipe my tears, pet the dog, pack another bag, cry even harder, and continue this cycle.
By the time he arrived home and we cried, talked, etc., we decided I should just head straight down to South Florida and that him and my wonderful in-laws would move us in without me.“Go be with her, you need to be” …..and I am so thankful for those words at a time when I had no idea what I should do.
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The next morning, I left my sister’s to head to Aunt Kathy & Uncle Tom’s.I fought tears the entire 15-minute ride.Don’t do this, don’t let her see you like this. I had to call Heather, who was with her 2 days before, to ask how I can be..if it’s okay for me to cry around her..what do I say to her? “Okay, Charlene, you’re allowed to cry, it’s totally fine.” I drove over with hope and fear at the same time, sprinkled with a dash of excitement to see her, topped off with the unknown.I then began a lil Venn Diagram session in my head on which is harder/the similiarities --- when my sister passed away suddenly without the chance to say goodbye, or being able to see Aunt Kathy and finding the right words to say --- neither being the easier.
I turned onto her street and still - fighting, fighting, fighting -I wiped the tears that snuck out and walked into her home expecting myself to bust out hysterically crying. NOPE.I saw her, and everything felt better. I somehow busted out with an enthusiastic “Heyyy!!!” as I wondered how the heck I mustered up the energy to do that.Oh well, it felt right.She was excited to see me and I sat next to her as she layed in bed and we talked and talked and talked, about almost everything aside from the reality of what was going on, while watching the Bachelorette, which excited the two of us. But I think that’s what we both needed at that moment just 3 weeks ago from now. I realized at that very moment how thankful I was that my husband let me be there, because just then was when I realized there was no where else I was supposed to be right then.And what was supposed to be a 2 day trip down there to find the courage to say goodbye to her, turned into 5 days…and then, well, it turned into weeks, because I just got back to Georgia to see my house for the first time today. This song kept popping into my head, 'I could not ask for more than this time together, I could not ask for more than this time with you, right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be...."
Alongside all of our family, including my Uncle, Mother, Grandmother, cousins, and siblings, I helped Aunt Kathy in whatever way I could.We tried to make her as comfortable as possible while sharing memories together and thanking her for being such a wonderful person to all of us.Most nights, us girls cuddled in their king size bed, with spoken and unspoken thoughts of just being thankful for the moments we were in together, right next to Aunt Kathy.
The 3 days she spent in the hospital, we were all there by her side.And when most of us (aside from her beloved husband, whom the nurses were pretty jealous of the wonderful husband he is) left at night,she’d thank us for being there and sometimes apologize as though she thought it were a burden to us.She deserved every ounce of support and care she received, + 1000x more. One night as I was walking out, she said “Oh, Charlene! How was this week’s Bachelorette?!” to which I replied “I haven’t watched it yet, I’m waiting for you to come home!”
Lucky for us, she came home! I don’t know how many times I said to my family that my heart aches for all the families who have to go through this every single day.Lord, find a cure! Puh-lease. Auntie spent about another week with all of us at home until she peacefully went to be with God, with the entire family and a room filled with love surrounding her.
So. So. Hard.
The doctors told her 2-3 weeks, and mi Auntie made it 3 weeks +1 day, cause ya know, this fighter had to prove them wrong. I won't even go into detail here, but couldn't have imagined things would turn out the way they did during these past 6 years of battling. I somehow thought she would be cured, someday.
The days following, I thought of a Kelle Hampton blog post where she discussed recharging alone vs. with people:
“How do you refuel yourself—being with people or spending time alone?” While solitude answers began pouring in, my dad immediately jumped in and answered for me. “You recharge with people. You have to be around people, Kelle” he blurted out. Reflexively, I immediately disagreed, almost ashamed—like it was much cooler to say I recharged by being alone, as if solitary recharging reflects some heightened state of confidence or strength over those who have a “people crutch”.
“I recharge by being alone too,” I said defensively yet weakly, knowing he was probably right though. The thing is, alone time and people time are both necessary for reenergizing all the hidden parts that make us tick. I value quiet walks alone, solitary drives, reading in bed and the rare trip to the beach without kids when I sit and watch the sun set while I challenge myself, think up new ideas and offer grateful sentiments out into the void. But I’m also not going to deny the fact that I’m wired to be most brilliantly inspired when I’m with people. When I listen to them, laugh with them and allow their energy to join forces with mine. And if that means I’ve not arrived at some heightened state of confidence or strength, I’m cool with that. It’s not that I can’t be alone. It’s just that people are kind of awesome.
I realized there was no way I could have made it through any of this (not that I am through it yet, by any means) without surrounding myself with people – with family.I needed them, we all needed each other. The only way I could have begun to refuel any part of me throughout this was by being with people -- FAMILY.
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Funerals. Those are never easy. The much-welcomed support of others came pouring in and so many people really came through for our family – it means more than anything. Tuesday, July 24th, was our day to pay our respect to Aunt Kath, express our thoughts and loving ways, and say our final goodbyes. It doesn’t seem real to go through with that, it doesn’t seem real to write this, and I know it will take time before it fully sinks in. And while the words kept flowing “She is no longer in pain, she is at peace now,” I couldn’t help but think that she didn’t deserve to even suffer in the first place. At 55 years old, she did nothing to deserve this disease or pain, nor could she do anything to stop it and I think that’s what hurts the most. But we all, including myself, have to understand that life is unfair at times, and we have to believe there is a reason for everything and it was simply her time…and for that, there was a reason. A mysterious reason, but an existent one. She did more in her 55 years of life than most, raised more than your average share of children, and saw more of the world than many do in a lifetime, and again, for that, we should all be thankful and learn from her.
It's been one week, and as of now, I can say that we will remember all the joy she brought to her family and will carry on her party planning, recipes, and more as we continue to celebrate her life.Her husband, her mother, her siblings, her children, her grandchildren, and all the rest of the family will somehow, in ways unbeknownst to any of us, pull through and use the same strength and courage she did to get through this.
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As my husband and I, baby girl in the belly, and Grizz in the back, pulled out of South Florida today, I thought of the drive down 3 weeks ago and the emotions pouring out of me as to how all of this would go, and how I was venturing into the unknown…and beneath my sunglasses were glossy eyes, trying to find the courage and strength she always seemed to find, to help me move on up here and start our new phase of life in Warner Robins, GA.At least this phase will have a new guardian angel guiding me through it.So thank you, Auntie, for always being there for me and I know you’ll always continue to.
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And in case you were wondering Aunt Kath, I didn’t watch the rest of the Bachelorette because I just couldn’t without you….but I did find out that Jef won…and I think we’re both okay with that! Continue to be a loyal blog follower of mine…otherwise you would be missed around here. I love you! And one more request, watch over baby girl, please!
I'll be 22 weeks tomorrow, but I didn't want to skip this week, so I figured I'd post it today :) We are nearing the end of our hotel stay in Orlando and getting ready to trek on up to The W (Warner Robins) to move into our new home in 2 days. I spent this past week in South Florida with family and certainly enjoyed it! Got to spend time with my nieces, got in some photoshoots, and saw most of our family altogether for a BBQ (missed you Mom, Gma, McDonald's, Bill, Maggie & Tommy!) -- We even got to see Jessica & Kyle, who finally made their way back home after 2 years in Ft. Irwin, CA. This month in Florida has gone by quicker than I could have imagined, but I'm ready to get back up to Georgia and settle into our new home. The hotel life with free breakfast everyday and maids once a week has been good to us, but we're ready!
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21 weeks
How far along?: 21 weeks, 6 days
Baby is the size of a: Pomegranate --these fruit sizes confuse me! They randomly seem bigger/smaller as the weeks go by. Average baby size is 10.5 inches at this point. That's one large pomegranate, eh?!
Total weight gain/loss: Lost 1 lb. So +10
The Bump: Growing and getting harder. And I'm noticing it a little higher up these days.
Symptoms: Random right sided pain in belly when I walk somewhat quickly..it's happened 3 times in the past week. I'm told round ligament pain. Ouch!
Food Cravings: More BLT's :) And today I had a Dunkin Donuts croissant with egg and cheese, and the whole time I was eating it, I thought, "Why have I not had more of these?!"
Anything Making Me Queasy or Sick: No food..But my tachycardia has been crazy lately and when my heart rate gets too high, I feel a little dizzy/nauseous.
Sleep: Sleeping well and sleeping in -- I've been lucky to be able to lately without working right now. I'm loving the body pillow (seems as though J likes it too!) and my sis just gave me "the wedge" pillow for the belly. I don't quite need that yet but it sure is nice to have.
What I miss: Today (4th of July) seems like a great day for a drink! We're planning on heading over to Universal's City Walk in a little to catch the fireworks tonight and J is already thinking about his Fat Tuesday's frozen drink....me wants!!
Weddings Rings On or Off: On
Any Names Picked Out Yet: Yes, actually, this came very easy for us contrary to what everyone told us about picking out names...but you'll just have to wait ;)
Gender: Baby Barr is a girl! :)
Movement: Love feeling those little fireworks in my belly!
Maternity Clothes: I like dresses and my jeans still -- got the belly band from sister and wearing it in today's picture actually :) I do wear my maternity capri's too, but I'd prefer my jeans to those as they still get saggy on me.
Labor Signs: N/A
Best Moment of the Week: There's a few. Same as last week...feeling baby girl and hearing her heart beating away on the doppler. And also showing off the baby bump to family :) It was the first time I've seen them since I've been pregnant. Anddd, sister gave me tons o' baby gear and baby girl clothes -- Oh. So. Cute!! I have a stroller in my car right now in the back..weird!
What I’m excited about/looking forward to: Daddy feeling kicks! And getting settled into our new home and meeting with the new doc.
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Check out some of my favorites from this past week's photoshoots :) Happy 4th of July and enjoy!!
